LEARN TO SAY NO By Farheen.S


Do it ever seem like that you have more weight on your heart than others? 
Do you ever feel anxious or doubtful about saying no to others? 
Do you ever feel like that you have to say yes to every other thing people will ask from you? 

If yes, then you are exactly reading the right article. I will tell you how much easy and soothing is to say NO rather than forced YES. This is the time you have to learn to say no to progress in your life without guilt or without considering yourself culpable. The word NO holds a lot of Power but it doesn't mean that you have to say no to every other thing. For that, you have to set your BOUNDARIES.
What is your definition of BOUNDARIES? That question itself holds a lot of explanation.  For me, every other thing that does not lie in the circle of my moral values or is a hurdle towards my ambition and goal is my boundary. You have to be confident and strict of yourself in setting those boundaries.

But what we do? We prefer to say forced yes rather than to hurt others. We do not want to go to a point where you say no to someone and he/she starts to dislike you. But what we are already assuming is that other one will start to dislike you if you say no. Consider yourself in that position and think will
you like a person who will simply reject your idea or the one who will say yes immediately but will start to make lame excuses after accepting your proposal. Obviously, we will like the direct NO. Maybe we are hurting others at that time and I assure you that person can survive easily with your no. But If we say unwilling yes, it will put a heavy load on your heart, not on the other one’s heart.


The other most important thing is that you have to learn to say GUILT FREE NO. Otherwise, you will grow weeds in your heart that will only result in your destruction. You have to be very careful and confident what type of plant you want to grow in your heart. The best trick for me to take a decision or what to decide is to say :
 “I will think about it and tell you later.” It's better than immediately no or yes.

You should start to take a decision on your own, not on the basis of other’s thinking. Because in the end, you are the one who will get affected by that decision, not the others. As you get to decide, you are the master of your faith, you are the captain of your soul as Ernest Henley said in Invictus. You have to book a ride for yourself. You have to start to take charge of your destiny and you should avoid being driven by others. With the modernization and industrialization, this world is getting very selfish, you should have to learn to be politely selfish to survive in this world. It’s not that much difficult to survive in this modern era but you just have to learn the new tactics to survive without hurting the others. 



Comments

  1. I like how you define what a boundary is so succinctly. Thank you for writing this.

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  2. I have a problem of saying yes just to please others even though I don't like the thing.This post is helpful.Thanks for that.

    Commonafricangirl.com

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  3. It is so hard to say no without feeling some guilt sometimes so I totally resonate with this post! I hope I can get to the point someday where I feel okay putting myself first.
    Alice Xx

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  4. Learning to say no also says about the character of the person. You are actually helping others to learn theirs as well.

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  5. This was the perfect post for me to read. I needed a reminder on this today. Thank you for sharing :)

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  6. Such a great post for me! I have the hardest time saying no and often find myself overwhelmed... thanks for sharing!

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  7. Boundaries are so hard to learn, but once you do, they can be life-changing! No is hard, but we can't say yes all the time!!!

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  8. Learning how to say no is something I definitely need practice with. Thanks for sharing these tips!

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  9. I actually had to say no to a blogging opportunity just yesterday. On paper it seemed like a cool opportunity, but when i looked at the work involved i realized the company was trying to take advantage of me. So I said no, but it gave me tons of guilt and anxiety! It's hard saying no, but knowing your boundaries helps to make it easier.

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  10. I can relate to this. I definitely find it hard to say no to people. You are right, there are things I should back out of and be clear about it.

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  11. I am glad that I do not have an issue saying no, but these are great tips for those that do.

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  12. I always experience same situation. I don't know how to say NO! and sometimes it is really hard. Thank you for sharing this and allowing me to say NO!

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  13. Wise words. It's not always easy to say no but sometimes it's important to recognise situations when we must!

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  14. This is so true! I've definitely learned to say no a lot more, and my mental health is better for it!

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  15. That is my main problem lately, I dont know how to say no. I always feel guilty and say yes for no reason. I'll start setting my own boundaries as you say. This is an awesome post!

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  16. My mother is such a yes person. It can really be quite troublesome for the family.

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  17. Such a great reminder! For years I've tried to say yes to everyone in an attempt to make others happy. It was exhausting!

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  18. Life with kiddos is busy so I've learned to keep my commitments minimal. I always appreciate the opportunity to help a friend out though. And kindness and compassion can go a long way.

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  19. This is probably one of my biggest weaknesses. I guess many people must be in the same situation. It's not easy to say no when asked for a favour, then we end up taking on too much.

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  20. This was the first thing I had to do to find life balance. It’s a strong part of self care!

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  21. I like to say let me think about it than straight way saying no.

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