LEARN TO SAY NO By Farheen.S
Do it ever seem like that you have more weight on your heart than others?
Do you ever feel anxious or doubtful about saying no to others?
Do you ever feel like that you have to say yes to every other thing people will ask from you?
If yes, then you are exactly reading the right article. I will tell you how much easy and soothing is to say NO rather than forced YES. This is the time you have to learn to say no to progress in your life without guilt or without considering yourself culpable. The word NO holds a lot of Power but it doesn't mean that you have to say no to every other thing. For that, you have to set your BOUNDARIES.
What is your definition of BOUNDARIES? That question itself holds a lot of explanation. For me, every other thing that does not lie in the circle of my moral values or is a hurdle towards my ambition and goal is my boundary. You have to be confident and strict of yourself in setting those boundaries.
But what we do? We prefer to say forced yes rather than to hurt others. We do not want to go to a point where you say no to someone and he/she starts to dislike you. But what we are already assuming is that other one will start to dislike you if you say no. Consider yourself in that position and think will
you like a person who will simply reject your idea or the one who will say yes immediately but will start to make lame excuses after accepting your proposal. Obviously, we will like the direct NO. Maybe we are hurting others at that time and I assure you that person can survive easily with your no. But If we say unwilling yes, it will put a heavy load on your heart, not on the other one’s heart.
The other most important thing is that you have to learn to say GUILT FREE NO. Otherwise, you will grow weeds in your heart that will only result in your destruction. You have to be very careful and confident what type of plant you want to grow in your heart. The best trick for me to take a decision or what to decide is to say :
“I will think about it and tell you later.” It's better than immediately no or yes.
You should start to take a decision on your own, not on the basis of other’s thinking. Because in the end, you are the one who will get affected by that decision, not the others. As you get to decide, you are the master of your faith, you are the captain of your soul as Ernest Henley said in Invictus. You have to book a ride for yourself. You have to start to take charge of your destiny and you should avoid being driven by others. With the modernization and industrialization, this world is getting very selfish, you should have to learn to be politely selfish to survive in this world. It’s not that much difficult to survive in this modern era but you just have to learn the new tactics to survive without hurting the others.