Loneliness: Desperate Need to Repair YOURSELF by Farheen S.
We always face sometimes a feeling in which we want to cry but we cannot, we want to complain but we cannot, we want to express ourselves but we cannot. I will tell you all, this is a feeling of loneliness, and this is a feeling of hollowness in your heart. How I know? Because I have faced this for a whole year of my life. The thing that matters at that time is how we tackle it. What this situation is exactly? What is the root cause of this feeling? How to overcome this in a permanent way? Read this and know the answers to all the questions that came into your mind by reading the title of my article or any other’s. Promise to yourself that if you are facing this type of situation, you will try to repair yourself rather than pressing its weight in your heart.
Loneliness has many types. Those are:
- Interpersonal loneliness
This comes from losing an intimate relationship
If your cultural and lifestyle does not match to the majority ones, this feeling can arise in your heart.
It comes when you are active in the group but has a feeling of ignored. We can say actively rejected.
It comes when you faced the death of one closest to your heart.
This type arises when you are facing the certain difficult situation but other’s do not.
These are the types of loneliness. If you notice them deeply, you will realize that these all types arise in us when we get separated from someone or get some separated traumatic situation. You do not want to be alone and that is your fear. You do not feel self-confident. You feel not yourself capable to live alone. You have to depend on others. You always have fear in you that others will get detached from you. You do not try to find happiness in yourself; you always try to find it with others. This is the time you have to take a step back and face this fear of separation.
At this time it’s very important that you build a wall of control on your heart not a wall of distraction. This distraction leads us towards hollowness not the purification of your heart. You have to use your brain and heart at the same. Do not ever try to block your brain. When something painful happens to us, two option that you can do.
The right way is to find the root cause. If the problem is severe, try to overcome it. In this world, we have our hand tied. We do not have control in the universe natural actions. We have to show patience. We have to build a strong wall around our heart and face whatever the situation is, with great strength and courage. If you are feeling social group loneliness, then boost up your self-confidence not because you have to show them in the group but because you want the satisfaction of your heart. When you will take the first, the strength will automatically come for the next step.
But what we naturally do, we try to suppress this feeling as I have done this with myself too. OR We wear a mask and try to find some sort of distraction to not feel that pain. We build another wall around the painful wall that is the wall of distraction. In our modern world, this wall is mostly the wall of social media. After one distraction, you will wait for another. But you will always have a fear in your heart that if this pain comes out what will happen but you try your best to not think about that pain. That can leads to depression too. Depression pain is much larger than the actual pain. You will feel lonely in this rush of people. You will be present physically in this group but mentally you will be totally absent.
So try to protect your heart and face whatever the issue with courage and patience. In the last, I want to write an example that I have listened in one video by ALIVE Academy.
“A person was walking one day on the road and was quite busy in this wheel of life, he did not saw a hole and fell into it and after some struggle, he got out. On the 2nd day, he passed through the same road and was quite busy in his life; he did not notice that hole again and fell into it. But after some struggle, he got out. On the 3rd day, he was passing the same road, he knew that there was a hole in the road but he ignored it and fell in to again and somehow he got out too. On the 4th day, When he was passing that same road, he put some shiny plastic layer on that hole, but fell again, how this plastic but shiny sheet can bear his weight. He got out some way. Then he thought it could only be done with the permanent solution; he filled that hole with concrete like the other road and easily passed over it. ”
So do not try to sugarcoat your painful feeling, try to remove that coat of feeling. Try to find yourself again not lose yourself in this temporary world.